Paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part
of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected


Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Since light travels faster than sound, some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
They begin the evening news with "Good Evening,"
then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any
more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but
now it is getting harder and harder for me to find one.


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