|Paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part
of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected
|Where there's a will, I want to be in it.|
|Since light travels faster than sound, some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
|The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.|
|If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.|
|War does not determine who is right - only who is left.|
|Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.|
|They begin the evening news with "Good Evening,"
then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
|To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.|
|Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street...with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
|A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.|
|Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.|
|Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any
more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
|You're never too old to learn something stupid.|
|I'm supposed to respect my elders, but
now it is getting harder and harder for me to find one.